My assumption is, when last Monday’s scan results are revealed, I’ll get the news that the chemotherapy has failed.

It was only ever a desperation effort to give me a few extra months anyway.  And the fact that my lower back is only giving me minimal support and I have a new pain that feels very much like previous tumour pain tells its own story.

Recent nights have involved taking tramadol.  Last night progressed to a second dose.  My 4am visit proved a struggle getting out of bed as the pain hit.  And hurt.

The good news is that the drugs are relatively effective if I lie still.  It’s moving that causes the problems!  And the last few days have seen me become very feeble as I try to move around the house.  Wednesday night football saw me struggle more with a short route from yellow line to seat in the ground as the masses rushed beyond me, occasionally knocking me slightly.

I have felt more severe pain over the months I’ve had this disease.  But my body has probably never been feebler.

Oncobabe is on holiday this week.  I have a 9am appointment Monday for her to tell me that the scan results aren’t available.  I’ll sort out blood tests for her today, ahead of the next Chemo which I’m unlikely to have.  Monday can get a discussion about the latest life extending drug that NICE have approved.  Then maybe next week I can progress to it before my disease progresses further.  Or will I need a biopsy?

Anything to zap my latest tumour would be quite appreciated.  I believe tramadol adds to constipation, so getting off that ASAP will be welcome!