I’ve read today about the actress who used to play Zoe Tate in Emmerdale.  Similar age to me.  Non-smoker like me.  Stage four lung cancer diagnosis.

Try as I might to blame the doctors and physiotherapists who initially treated my back pain, it’s a struggle to see how anybody could have made a diagnosis in those early days.  Even I knew lung cancer wasn’t going to happen to me.

Leah Bracknall complains about turnaround times from scan to results.  She has a point.  But it changes little.  You’re still doomed.  She also demonstrates a degree of positivity that we share.  Although mine is more pragmatic action to enjoy life than blind hope of long term extension.

Shes also raised over £60,000 to pay for immunotherapy in Germany.  Alas, a treatment that buys more time, but unlikely to be much.  Perhaps a GoFundMe account can deliver the same for me.  £1 from every former employee at LBG.  Gifted to Roy Castle if it falls short.

I still amaze myself that i went from being a newly fit adult to a dead man walking so quickly.  And despite the fun of my last year or so it’s obvious I’ve declined.  Walking around lakes no longer happens.  Walking stick is in charge.  Flight ban.  Although I’d risk that for a Germany trip.  Maybe the Matrix Trials will still come through.

A Painkiller Free Night