I’m not averse to using a rucksack myself.  I benefited from a medium sized thing from Argos to walk up The Old Man of Coniston with in my pre-cancer past and it did a great job of storing water, emergency chocolate, sandwiches, first aid kit, whistle, compass, spare tee shirt, dry socks and an emergency foil shelter just in case I got badly lost.

There is little doubt that the rucksack has great benefits for the user in certain circumstances.  But it’s fairly obvious, after recent travels, that the average rucksack wearer is a cretinous imbecile with no awareness of other human beings and even less realisation that having 15kg of stuff attached to your back dramatically changes your shape.  I’m sure there are genuine exceptions to the rule, but on the whole these people are idiots.

Quite why they don’t realise that changing direction quickly has the potential to deliver a knockout blow to others in the crowd is beyond me.  How much more obvious could it be?  Quietly taking a couple of snaps of Iceland’s magnificent Gulfoss waterfalls I was assaulted by a rucksack who’s bearded owner had no perception that he’d just smashed into my face and nearly sent my new phone flying into the raging waters 75 feet below.

And then there’s the exit blocker.  If I want to get off my Bratislava tram at the correct stop do I have to kick these people or push them out of the way?  Because they have no clue that somebody might actually be aiming their “excuse me” at them.

So I have a simple solution.  Ten one hour lessons of how to wear a rucksack with consideration for others followed by a test including tube or trams as well as walking in large crowds.

If the assessor agrees that you’ve passed, you’re awarded a hat with mirrors pushed out to the front, allowing you to see innocents behind you enabling you to behave in a way that gives others genuine consideration.

For now, I think acts of physical violence against ignorant rucksack wearers should be allowed in the same way pedestrians are legally entitled to punch cyclists in London.

ePassport Gate and Bell’s Palsy Discrimination