I think it’s fair to say I’m a bit fed up of my Bell’s Palsy,.  I can handle looking a bit like a contorted Halloween mask but the permanently open eye, leaking lips and split nostril are pretty rubbish.  Five months on I’m in a minority of sufferers who haven’t had the condition simply disappear after twelve weeks or so.

You may recall the difficulties I had re-entering the UK when I returned to Leeds from Bratislava.  UK Border Farce weren’t at their most efficient.  Manchester was different as a modest number of passengers walked through a painful terminal one barrier maze to eventually form a short queue at five ePassport gates.  And everybody sailed through with biometric beauty as the facial recognition systems said yes.

Until it was my turn.  Initially I didn’t help myself as I failed to push my passport in correctly. Once my tired mind worked this out I wiggled it around hoping for a more pleasurable response and stood patiently awaiting the green light.  “Try Again” was the message.  Repeat the wiggle three more times. Eventually I was rejected, presumably because the system was unhappy with my face.  Hell, I’m unhappy with my face!  I wandered over to a group of desks manned by idle staff with little to do and was nodded through within seconds.

A fine welcome back to Blighty!

Next Stop Ljubljana