Having had a couple of days to ponder it, the growth of the cancer in my right lung is a big shock.

Because it has remained stable so long, I think I’d assumed that it wouldn’t spread within the source area.  It was quite happy attacking my back, pelvis and hips.  I didn’t expect it to return stronger where it started.  I’d resigned myself to the hasty tumour they zapped with radiotherapy being what would return to kill me.  I suppose it still might.

In fairness, it’s possible that the sharp pain I’d felt in my upper back three weeks or so ago was a symptom.  That X-ray showed no bone damage though.  And wasn’t your typical lung X-ray.

Of course, within hours of having seen images of the cancer growth I seem to have developed a feeble cough and a minor pain in the area at the top of the right lung.  They’re probably real symptoms.  But how odd that they appear weeks after the growth has been present.

My layman concern is that chemotherapy doesn’t appear to be holding back the growth in the lung.  That said, I can now lie on my left side so presumably the bone damage is improving there.  Not on the right side though.  That’s wrecked.  That hurts!

So where do we go from here?  CT scan.  That decides whether chemo continues.  That identifies potential biopsy targets for drug trial people to go for.  If they want to.  It might leave me between a rock and a hard place where I get no cancer fighting treatment at all.  Game up.  I still don’t feel ready for that.  Perhaps I never will.

Its just strange to feel better in some ways yet see and feel evidence of decline in other areas.  They say “fight it”.  I can still try to live a little.  But there’s naff all I can do to stop it in its tracks.

Roy Castle Lung Cancer Centre has provided me with invaluable support. Please make a donation to them. Thank you.