While not quite a case of extracting a tooth by tying string around it, tying the other end of the string to a door handle and swinging the door, last night saw me arrange my own filling.

A rogue toffee crisp created the problem.  Removing an existing filling in one bite.  A bit of a disaster on two counts.  I don’t have an NHS dentist and because of the Zometa bone strengthening drug I’m not meant to undergo dental treatment.  Something to do with damaging my jaw as the Zometa swims around my system.

With a gaping hole in what’s left of my tooth, which hopefully had the nerve removed many years ago, I did what anybody in this position would do.  Logged on to Amazon.

For less than a fiver I found my target.  A temporary filling kit!  And last night I put it to the test.  The kit is basically a tube full of concrete and a baster to smooth things out with.

A squeeze of the tube, out came too much cementy stuff, onto the finger and into the cavity.  Smooth as you like.  Although my tooth now feels about an inch longer than any others around it and an inch wider.

But at least the hole is filled until I can take further medical advice.  And though the night some of the more extreme shaping appears to have smoothed off.  I wonder how long the whole thing will actually last?

I’m a Coniston Man Myself, but …