I do like an airport lounge, and having paid out a sizeable fee for a credit card with lounge access around the world (excluding Reykjavik and Sydney T3) I’m determined to get value from it. Even as a modest drinker.

Luton’s Aspire Lounge retails for around £26. Even at 6am. I flash my Priority Pass card and boarding pass and get waved in by the lounge dragon carefully protecting her territory. I feel entirely exhausted after just four hours sleep.

But there is a hot breakfast available and “pour your own” wine to wash it down with. I choose orange juice and coffee flavoured hot milk passing itself off as latte. And relax admiring the little touches in this peaceful half empty haven hovering above the rammed solid airport departure hall.

I vaguely notice free luggage lockers. I utilise the clean washroom and notice multiple private shower options next to a nail salon. The quiet ambience of the place is rather pleasant, even if Prosecco is chargeable. I ponder smuggling a couple of bottles of beer into my already rammed tiny hand luggage bag but decide I’m not yet awake enough to do this subtly. Crunchy Nut Cornflakes box? Not today. But at some point I will do an effective lounge grab!

£26? Never worth it. But with the amount of travel I’m hoping to get my multiple lounge entries to add up to well above the credit card fee I’ve shelled out. Before travel insurance, car hire excess waver insurance, hotel upgrades, 30,000 Avios and a few other perks come into play.

Wizzair kindly update my phone with prompts that tell me the flight is on time. I can add big hand luggage to my booking. There is traffic around the airport. They tell me everything except the gate number! Fortunately I get this from the boards in the lounge.

I head for the gate, wondering why people have to walk so bloody slowly and aimlessly around departure terminals. Get out of my way you riff raff I’ve got a plane to catch! I then join the queue at the gate realising I’m probably the only non-Slovenian speaker getting on board my flight. I try to learn how to pronounce Ljubljana. Loo blee arna. Lub lee arna. Adam Lallana. Something like that.

Time to fly.

Screwed Over by my Preferred Hotel Booking Firm