The end of the football season is a difficult time. What to do with Chris on a Saturday.

No football. No cricket. No desire on my part to sit in a pub. Then a moment of genius. Lancashire’s Wild Boar Farm.

Yes, it may be aimed at smaller kids than us, but we both like animals and the idea of feeding them in the sun proved a winner.

It took some time to find the boar, despite the “Meet me then eat me” proposition of the place. Wallabies, sheep, goats, deer, lamas and the other one that you always think is a lama were first in line, eating pellets from our hands and looking generally cute.

Further walking then we found the boar. Loads of them. Timid, uninteresting and uninterested. So then to the highlight of the trip. Wild boar sausages, egg and chips for £5.95.

Into the cafe and … They’d stopped serving food for the day. Gutted!

Feeling the Need to Say I Never Smoked