Many people told me they enjoyed reading about my hotel room rant but I omitted what is probably the biggest failing of all hotel rooms across the globe.  The shower.

I’m not really referring to cleanliness, maintenance and general repair.  More the basically flawed design of an item that should be simple to perfect in an industry where 99% of your guest rooms have one.

My obvious example comes from Bratislava when I flooded the bathroom because of a failure to angle floor tiles with any sense.

But what is it about hotel showers that makes on, off, warmer, colder, more power, less power so bloody difficult?  This morning’s Ibis experience starts with turning the shower on.  Two twisty metallic knobs to go at.  There’s a number 38 on the nearest one so I have to lean under the shower head to the furthest knob and successfully turn it on.  Icy cold water hurtles out of the shower head over my angled torso.  Absolutely no way of avoiding this.

Then I want to find my optimum temperature.  Which way do I turn the knob?  I’ve no idea.  But then trial and error is utterly pointless as I eventually establish there are only three settings.  Freeze.  Luke warm and boil your nads into oblivion.

For crying out loud, this is a modern building!

And don’t get me started on “rainforest shower heads” you sometimes get in arty farty hotels.  Seriously, the idea of standing under an Amazonian waterfall has merit in life.  The idea of replicating the experience on a business trip to Bristol is utter farce.  I want to angle my shower head.  I want to adjust the water pressure.  Hell, I want to unhook the thing and point it at the sweatier regions of my body.  Imagining  humming birds fluttering past and piranha eating my toes isn’t really what I’m after before briefing the guys on the latest sales numbers.

And then there’s the shower over the bath.  The previous occupant has left the plug in.  You turn the lever and the tap starts running.  You then lean over the bath to turn what you think is the plug lever to let the water drain and it switches from tap to shower.  You get drowned in that icy cold water again!  Then repeat the comments above about heat control.

In summary, hotel showers are usually a bit rubbish.  And are invariably the worst designed amenities ever invented.  You’d think an industry as big as this would have done something about it by now.

A Long But Successful Day